We can’t be anyone else’s rock
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We can't be anyone else's rock

We can’t be anyone else’s rock

I’m humbled by anyone who’d consider me their rock, but respectfully, I can’t be.

Because in order to be yours, I must find someone else to be mine and that role in my life is nobody’s responsibility but my own.

You see, we’re all responsible for being our own rock, for filling our souls and owning our shit. It doesn’t mean we don’t love, that we don’t support and share in other peoples burdens, quite the opposite in fact, it just means we can’t carry or heal what isn’t ours alone.

I’m supportive, but can’t always be there. I’m a good listener, but can’t read minds. I’m a good communicator, but don’t always have the words. I’m understanding, but can’t know everything. I’m accepting of mistakes, but not patterns. I’m challenging because I challenge from my values – the same standards I set for me, I set for you.

I say what I mean, because I’ve considered you and me before I speak. I have empathy, compassion and patience, but also limits, which are ever expanding, but won’t tolerate c*ntish behaviour.

I’ll give you everything I give myself, if that’s not enough, we’ll both know. I value myself plenty, but I’m human. I know who I am, but I’m always learning. I’m calm but also passionate. I can talk for hours but I hate small talk. I’m committed but not when mine isn’t matched.

I know who my people are and have a good bunch in my life. People who value me, my opinion, character, humour, energy, feels and values. People who know me – because I show up in all my imperfection.

These people do not consider me a rock. They see and treat me as an equally living, breathing human being just like them. Boundaries respected, truth told, even when it’s hard. We know, that sometimes one of us will need the other more and that both of us will be there when that happens.

Whilst challenging conversations can be tough, I’m unafraid to be honest (inc with self), because I know that’s how we grow and love. And that when we don’t, we betray ourselves and others.

I’m not a rock, I’m a human being. A pretty decent one. It’s much easier to be me without the burden of other rocks.

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