Life Lesson No.24
People can be massive c*nts. Fact.
It’s as easy for us to let most peoples shitty behaviour wash off our duck-like exterior as it is for them to seemingly dish it.
When it comes to those who know and love us it’s a different story. These people know better, they’re accustomed to who we are, how we feel, our sensitive vulnerabilities, our hurts and fears, our kindness and softness, our heart and soul. So it’s a sad state of affairs when we find ourselves facing such shit from them.
To hone in on those parts of us and behave in ways someone knows will cause harm is vindictive. And abusive, however you slice it. For which there is no excuse. It doesn’t matter what’s happening at the time or happened prior, behaviour like this is a failure in integrity, love and respect…not just for someone else, but for self.
Yes, we can understand why someone may behave this way; victim mindset, a need for control, trauma, fear, hurt or insecurity, mental health, cognitive dissonance, lack of empathy…there are a myriad of ‘whys’ – but regardless, we cannot allow such behaviour to go unchallenged.
We all know what we’re doing on some level, even if that level is behind a veil of denial – there’s always a choice involved. ‘With knowledge comes power’ as we say, in our personal relationships that power includes our ability to hurt those who love us. Be mindful around those who choose to push the buttons you’ve shown exist and trusted them with.
Become unflappable in the face of it; do not ignore, enable, accommodate or accept. Contrary to what you may have been taught, told or manipulated to believe – to not be abused by those we love (ANYONE!) isn’t too much to ask.
Always be true to yourself, do not reflect the behaviour back, do not push buttons in return, as much as you may be tempted in such an environment. Challenge it, if such behaviour doesn’t change, distance yourself – you don’t owe anyone anything.