To Be Able To Understand Someone Else, We Must First Understand Ourselves
If we don’t show people who we really are, how can we possibly be understood?
Our unconscious thoughts, feels and biases have a lot to answer for – they can paint an abstract picture of who we are to those around us whether we’re aware of it or not. It’s worth examining; What’s really us and what have we learned to do unconsciously or through fear? It’s on us to ensure what we put out into the world is what we want – a true reflection of us.
Getting to know self, what we truly think, feel, believe and what’s the influence of others or trauma promotes better understanding of ourselves and our values, greater awareness in the present, greater trust in our intuition and a greater sense of self-worth. This authenticity is born out of forgiveness, kindness, respect and love for ourselves, which allows us to move more freely in the world, with less need to mask up, less fear.
It’s through having empathy and understanding for ourselves that we can achieve greater empathy and understanding for others. Both scenarios being seesaw’d on trust.
One of the great paradox’s of life is that trust comes after (not before) doing something that we perceive to require trust in order to do it. Trust, acceptance, validation, self-belief; these are just some of the rewards we feel by being ourselves, for being real, authentic, honest, accountable…vulnerable. All things we can fear doing because we either don’t trust (know) ourselves or don’t trust (know) another.
We’ll never *fully* be able to empathise or understand another human being because we’re all unique in our difference. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t endeavour to try, because to do so is an act of love, of humanity – what makes us all the same. The only label that matters; human.
Humanity needs such acts of love, authenticity and connection now more than ever. But don’t worry about what others think, whether they understand you, love you, ‘get’ you or not, just focus on showing up, being your authentic self – that’s all we can do.
The rest will follow. We will connect, we will relate and understand, where and when we’re meant to. Simply by being us.