Prepare yourself, this can be a challenge to wrap the head around.

When we feel like we’re not ‘enough’ it has fuck all to do with the here and now, what we’re saying/doing or what any person opposite is. Unless of course that someone is literally saying “You’re not enough”.

Most people would never say or think such a thing. Think about it – as an adult (certainly on a good day) if someone ever said that to you, would you listen? Fuck no.

So what gives? More often than not, this narrative is rooted in trauma. Spoken via the action/inaction of people in our childhood which planted a seed of shame in us. That grew into some higher than average self-doubt, anxiety, depression, insecurity, alter egos and more…all echoing the hurt or unconscious learnings when as kids or adolescents we experienced an environment that made us *feel* we weren’t enough. One where we didn’t receive the love we needed to the contrary. So it stuck with us (thanks for that).

This voice (or voice) isn’t about us, who we really are, it’s also not about those opposite us now or how they see us. It’s not about the present in any way shape or form, it’s an emotional response to what’s happening whilst being bonded to past trauma(s). Someone or multiple someones who still have a spell over us.

Trauma likes to play tricks and echo our deepest fears and insecurities. By default those things are past tense. This can make life particularly hard in the present, because even love can be perceived as something to be feared and rejected by trauma.

We may not be doing or saying enough, we may be harming others, which people are entitled to and will challenge us on – that’s life – it doesn’t mean they’re saying we’re not enough, they’re likely showing up for themselves because our shit has bled on to them in some way. These experiences can raise our shame seed, which trauma twists to make us think that we are not enough and that those opposite are telling us so.

Through our presence grows the very things we need and didn’t learn or receive growing up; understanding, calm, empathy, trust, love, self-worth and empowerment.