There’s no beating around the bush on this life lesson, the secret isn’t really a secret, it’s something we all know but can struggle to…well, accept.

There’s your big mystery, the holy grail of life – acceptance. Wholehearted and unconditional. When you taste acceptance your eyes and your heart open, but when you swallow that shit without chewing you’ve reached a place where anything goes – you’re you, happy, content, fearless and free, regardless of what ‘goes’.

Such acceptance doesn’t come alone, it’s accompanied by uncompromising self – acceptance without compromise. We give freely, live authentically, love, consider and respect others. Using love as our guide, we accept entirely, but not at the cost of our own worth, inner peace or happiness – things we should never compromise.

Don’t believe me? Dig deep. Think about all the things that bother you, stress you out, make you afraid, give you doubt. All the stuff that pisses you off, hurts you, makes you sad. All the things you wish were different here and now, or had been when and then. Think about your relationships, your job, your family, your dreams, failures, rejections, even the wins you couldn’t quite relish in.

When we reach the bottom of all these things we realise that what was or is missing, is acceptance. The acceptance of something or someone else. Something different to what we believe, would say or do, think or feel. Something that rubbed up vigorously against your ideas and values about whatever ‘it’ was. Something we couldn’t accept or compromise on…

The acceptance of knowing what was or wasn’t right for us. The acceptance of control or mistreatment by others. The acceptance that we failed, got it wrong, made a mistake and were actually the one at fault. The acceptance that our minds play tricks on us via trauma and learned behaviour (inc from our parents), distorting our reality, everything we know to be true (the hardest thing to accept). The acceptance that we don’t, can’t and never will know everything. That forgiveness takes time, trust truth and love vulnerability.

The acceptance that sometimes, no matter our intention, we will hurt others and ourselves, just as others will too. The acceptance that nothing is black and white. The acceptance that you won’t be liked by everyone, just as you won’t like everyone and that’s perfectly okay. The acceptance that now matter how much you give you will fall-short. The acceptance that your best is enough, but we can always learn and do better. The acceptance that it’s not your job to understand, bend or break for, but simply to respect others. The acceptance that you may never get what you want or need, even from those you love. The acceptance that your love will be valued and rejected. The acceptance that you may have to let go of others or parts of yourself in life in order to be happy. That letting go is hard and our responsibility alone.

The acceptance that others can and will do what the hell they like…and that’s perfectly acceptable because so can you. The acceptance that love, trust, equality, authenticity, self-belief, self-worth, joy and peace cannot exist without it.

The acceptance that all of this is okay.

Still not convinced? Keep digging, it can be hard to accept.

When finding ourselves clinging on too tightly to something, we should be learning to let go, so we may see more clearly and move more freely.

Everything and everyone outside of *us* is immune to our existence or will, outside of our control, no matter how good our intentions.

We must find our way to live and operate from a place of tranquil acceptance of that truth to be able (if we’re lucky) to feel alive and content in life. Releasing the illusion that controlling ourselves, our emotions, our environments or other people is of any benefit whatsoever, because that illusion is precisely what holds us back from being. By loosening our grip we can accept all that is and ever will be, practicing love and accountability, and letting go of everything else (that’s when we can move freely and peacefully with the flow of life).

Finding happiness in our self, and making decisions with that happiness at their core, we can hope (not will) that in doing so, we may inspire others to enjoy the same (accepting if it doesn’t).

Our lives are our own, it’s the same for us all. Have your own beliefs, have your own opinions, your own values and morals. Nurture your own love. Allow yourself to accept and experience everything *you* feel. Get to know and understand yourself and what influences that self. *Trust* in letting go of what no longer serves you.

Have your own sense of right and wrong. Know your lines of acceptance and compromise. Live by them, ruthlessly if you must, but remain open so you may accept change and difference whilst not concerning yourself with how others go about living by theirs.

Discover your calm so as not to be influenced by, changed by or reactive to negativity, fear, hurt or difference. Embrace, include, share and accept diversity in ALL its forms. In both the physical and psychological realms of humanity.

To cut a long story short (so much for not beating around the bush) – accept everything without compromising self.

That’s it. No more, no less.