Challenging trauma can be a lonely place, particularly when its existence and impact on its environment and everyone in it is denied, ignored, avoided or played down.

As a challenger of trauma you can be made the scapegoat, considered a threat, an attacker, someone to fear, blame and shame for the questions you ask, truth you speak and values you uphold. Simply because you call trauma and it’s destructive influence out. Simply because you set boundaries, express wants and needs. Simply because you stand up for yourself and someone else’s true self. Simply because you do not accept or tolerate the masks and realities that the trauma lens creates.

Simply because you love hard and want what’s best for everyone.

The travesty is that the lonely among us aren’t just those who battle trauma from within, but also those on the outside challenging trauma on someone else’s behalf with only good intention at the heart of their loving effort.

It’s a constant battle between love for self and love for another with trauma. Trauma is like that ‘friend’ someone else brought along for moral support to a speed-dating night, hovering around like a tick you need to pull out, an itch you need to scratch, when all you want to do is get to know the person you just met better.

Trauma hinders that connection, much like the cling-on of someone else by your side. It’s an unwelcome addition to our relationships with each other. Particularly those we love most. But it’s there, it’s real and it impacts all in its vicinity. If we don’t raise our awareness of it, accept it exists, talk about and challenge the ways in which it likes to fuck with us, both as individuals and together as a united front, it will continue to leave a bunch of hurt and lonely people in its wake.

We cannot allow that. We must all go about life (and trauma) with love in our hearts and respect in our control tower to help heal the wounds in us all.

So grab the tweezers and start pullin’. Be gentle mind, we don’t wanna leave the head behind, that’s the most harmful bit.